There is a saying that goes something like never return to the scene of a crime. Today I understand why.

You may remember the long, long Sunday lunch we had last year. In a moment of weakness we went back to the same pub.

Things didn’t start well when we saw the sign saying that Dougie and his team were still in charge.

The service seemed a little faster but perhaps that was because the place had so many empty tables.

The starter seemed fine. We ordered an extra glass of wine and the main course arrived and then it all went downhill.

The mushy peas with my fish and chips were cold. The chicken with potato gratin and a rarebit sauce K ordered looked like something making a guest appearance from Casualty.

Normally a gratin is made with thin slices of potato, this one was made by boiling new potatoes, leaving them whole and then covering them (and almost everything else on the plate) in a bright yellow cheese sauce which would have looked better covering nachos at the local cinema.

Dougie appeared to ask how things were. We mentioned that something didn’t seem to be quite right. “Oh, that’s how we do that meal with the rarebit sauce”, he said, avoiding the presentation and slicing issues.

As Auguste Escoffier said :

“Classical French Cooking is all about presentation, smell and taste. In France, life revolves around the table. Surprising to those who think of french food as complicated and elaborate, but the true essence of french cooking is bringing out the best in the ingredients ‘faites simple’.” - “Keep it simple!”

On the table opposite us a family finally received their desserts. The waitress apologised saying the kitchen had a sudden rush of orders (the same excuse given for glass of red wine we ordered that arrived towards the end of the meal).

We walked past the empty tables and out into the sunny car park. It seemed we weren’t the only people to enjoy it - the “chefs” were sitting outside having a well deserved smoke after battling that rush of orders for gratin.

Today I’m writing to The Spirit Group returning the vouchers they gave us (which we didn’t take with us) telling them just why the spirit didn’t move us.